


The Shadow Darkens

by Monalisasandmadhatters20



Series: Shadow [2]
Category: Rocketman (2019), Rocketman (2019) RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Drunk Driving, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Physical Disability, Thoughts of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22325749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monalisasandmadhatters20/pseuds/Monalisasandmadhatters20
Summary: Bernie had settled into his 'simple' life as a single father of two, even if he now knew he was destined for much more.Elton had gone on to become a superstar, but no amount of fame could heal the hole in his heart left by Bernie's decision to leave him.What happens when their paths cross yet again?
Relationships: Bernie Taupin/Original Female Character(s), Elton John & Bernie Taupin, Elton John/John Reid
Series: Shadow [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603774
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

He had known from the beginning of his life that he was not meant for the ordinary. He had talent, and he was proud of his talent. He had resigned himself to the fact that his life would never be easy if he followed his own dreams and not the life his parents dreamed for him. He was the bane of his mother’s existence, of course, and the complete opposite of what his father had expected his son to be... 

He had been told on numerous occasions he was the reason for their failed marriage… Great peptalk, that was, to a young boy fresh out of puberty.

But he pressed on. He was no stranger to pain, whether it be physical or emotional, given to him by himself or others. He was no stranger to hard work. He was no stranger to making things  _ work _ when they seemed destined for failure. 

He would persevere even when all he wanted to do was give up and hide from the world, even for just a little while.

He was due to perform within minutes. It was his first performance in months. He still was unsure what made John believe doing a set on live television was the way to make Elton want to go back on tour, but he was just so damn tired of fighting with him all the time. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror in front of him, a frown on his face. He brought the tumbler of whisky to his lips. John was speaking in the background about something or other he should probably have been paying attention to, but this deep in the bottle so early in the day he found it difficult to follow to follow John’s tangents.

“Right. Time to head out now, I reckon,” Elton muttered, getting unsteadily to his feet. He fixed a bowler cap atop his head and his signature spectacles. “This is my last show, John. The ‘Elton John’ money train is over. I’m retiring, far far away from you. Don’t look for me after the show.”

He followed the familiar path towards the stage within the ‘Old Grey Whistle Test.’ He had performed on the show numerous times, with Bernie even sitting in the audience at the very beginning of his career. Back when they were young and full of hope for their future. Their future  _ together _ .

_ Song writing duo, Elton John and Bernie Taupin. EJBT for life, Bernie used to say. I wonder if he thinks about me still like I do him…, _ Elton thought, nodding at his backing band as they set up behind their instruments.

“Last one for a while, I reckon, chaps. Let’s make it memorable, yeah?,” he said, taking his seat behind his piano. 

He ignored the looks Ray Cooper and Dee Murray sent each other over his state. So he was a bit more drunk than he should have been before a performance. So he may or may not have powder from his last line hanging from his nostrils. So he may or may not have a few bruises that just would not be concealed, no matter how much makeup he put on his face or how high his turtleneck jumper lay.

He was fine. He would press on. He would persevere.

John wouldn’t stand for anything less…

********************

“We are about to do the number that launched my career all those years ago… Written whilst sitting around my dear ol’ Mum’s dining table over breakfast, lyric sheet stained with the remnants of my nan’s wonderful tea…” The crowd laughed heartily. Elton continued, a large grin on his face. “By a man I am contractually not allowed to say, that may or may not rhyme with ‘Bernie Taupin’... Here is ‘Your Song’!”

Bernie flinched when Elton began the opening chords that were set to the most misunderstood set of lyrics Bernie had ever written. “This one’s for you, mate,” Elton said softly.

“Daddy! Your name is Bernie Taupin too! How weird!,” his daughter chimed in excitedly from the corner of the living room where she played with her dollhouse, clapping her hands together.

“Weird indeed, Sammy,” Bernie murmured in agreement, taking a long pull of his lager, his eyes never leaving the television screen. He wrapped his arm around his son, Sebastian, who sat beside him on the microfiber sectional Elton had bought him so many years ago, he sofa that had traveled to two different flats and now the home he only dreamed of from when he was his just his children's age with him, and squeezed him gently.

“I wanna watch cartoons, Daddy, not this weird little guy,” Sebastian said, glaring darkly at the television screen. He folded his little arms across his chest and scowled even darker when Elton sang the bridge of ‘Your Song’. 

Sebastian was so much like Bernie... He wished he knew just what gypsy curses his mum had laid upon him when he was a child growing up back in Lincolnshire so he could better know what to expect with his son. 

Bernie held back his laugh, but just barely.

“After Daddy’s show you can watch all the cartoons you want to. We’re home all day, aren’t we now?,” Bernie found himself reasoning with the six year old boy. “Why don’t you go play with sister for now? You seem to be bored sitting here with your old man.” 

Sebastian jumped up to his feet and joined his sister by her dollhouse. As much as he enjoyed playing with his sister, sometimes it took a bit of prodding from Bernie to go and play such ‘girly’ games like dolls, no matter how many times Bernie said it was quite alright to have different tastes than the other boys at his school.

His boy was all rough and tumble. No wonder he found Reg so ‘weird.’

Getting the day off of work had been difficult, especially without having a tangible excuse.  _ I want the day off so I can watch the man that still has my heart play  _ our _ music on a program on the tele, _ was rather unreasonable during their busiest time of year. So he did what any rational man would do to ensure he got his wish.

He made an appointment for his children for their yearly physicals quite early in the morning, then kept them home for the rest of the day with their pediatrician’s consent.

It had been three years since that awful night when Elton had left for the tour that changed both of their lives forever. Bernie watched from afar, taking in as many programs and appearances on the tele as he could, purchasing magazine after magazine that he found Elton’s name on the cover, following up with those he still had contact with in the music industry as he tried to piece together the life Elton lived…

Each bit of news, each picture from the random paparazzi, and each television appearance broke Bernie’s heart just a bit more.

This was the first time, though, Elton had even uttered his name during his hiatus from him, and Bernie was unsure how he felt about it. He was glad he was not forgotten, of course, as he had dreaded throughout their time apart. He was glad Elton had retained a sense of humor about him with the world pulling him in all directions. He was also glad that Elton looked well and whole for the first time in years during this performance.

But mostly, Bernie was wary of the ramifications that would no doubt occur for him for having the audacity to mention Bernie during a show. He knew by the end of the day, Elton would no longer look well and whole when John was finished with him.

_ You are an idiot, Reg, _ Bernie thought fondly, finishing his bottle of lager in one long gulp.  _ And I miss you, too. _

  
  


********************

“What the fuck was that out there, Elton?”

Elton groaned from underneath the safety of his arms that were rested atop his head. He was tired, he was hungry, and he needed a drink to quell the budding migraine that threatened to pull him under yet again. “What are you banging on about now, John?,” he grumbled with exasperation.

“‘This one’s for you’,” John mimicked, folding his arms tightly across the front of his neat black suit. Elton lifted his head slightly and winced when he saw the dark look on John’s face. He put his head back down on the table. “We have been over this, Elton. Bernie is not a part of this, and has not been for years. When will you get it through your tiny brain that he is gone and is not coming back, to or for you?”

Elton only shrugged. He learned early on in their partnership it was easier to stay silent when John was in such a mood. Any thing Elton would say would be misconstrued, and leave him in nothing but pain. 

Physical or emotional, Elton was never quite sure, but in pain nonetheless. Just like his parents, John knew exactly which switch to flip to turn him into a sobbing mess.

Elton pretended to listen as John continued his tirade, never lifting his head from the safe cocoon of his arms. He nodded at all the right places, murmured his apologies whenever John paused for a breath, and allowed John time to vent of all the times Elton was found wanting... 

He hated that he allowed John to treat him in such a way. He hated that he allowed John to humiliate him, bully him. He hated that he allowed John to use him over and over again. He hated that he allowed John to control his every move. He hated that he allowed John to pull him from those who actually cared for him. He hated that he allowed John to hurt him.

But mostly, he hated himself for not leaving him when he had the chance.


	2. Chapter 2

Another empty liquor bottle joined the rest upon the small table that sat beside the overstuffed armchair by the large glass balcony doors, and Elton let out a disgruntled sigh. He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes tightly, telling himself he did not  _ need _ another bottle from just above the mini-fridge in his suite just yet. He told himself he didn’t  _ need _ to lay out another line of cocaine just yet to snort his problems away. He told himself he didn’t  _ need _ to forget the long and grueling day he had just had, and was content with sitting quietly in his hotel room, alone, once again.

_ For someone who is so highly sought after by the media, I am alone much more often than not, _ Elton thought, getting unsteadily to his feet. He stumbled the mini-fridge, taking down yet another bottle of spirits John had ensured Elton had to keep himself busy and out of trouble, and stumbled back to his chair.

He forwent the tumbler this time.  _ Why pretend I’m not an alcoholic when I’m behind closed doors?, _ he reasoned, grasping the neck of the bottle so tight he was surprised it didn’t break. He did his best to block out the moans of the lad John brought back that evening after the stupid party, that seemed to grow louder with each passing moment from behind the bedroom door. He took a long pull from the bottle.  _ He sure knows how the drive the nail in my heart… _

His watch beeped. Another hour had passed and they were  _ still _ going at it in the bed he was supposed to be sleeping in. The Starship was leaving early in the morning for the next stop in this stupid tour John insisted on starting, even though he had told John this afternoon he was  _ finished _ with this life, and to step out of his life  _ please _ before he just ended it all _ , _ and he could never sleep on the plane.

He threw the bottle at the wall with a rage filled scream that didn’t even cause any pause in their activities.

He stared at his reflection in the glass. He caressed his cheek, one of the many places throughout his body that had bruises upon bruises and  _ hurting _ due to John’s irrational anger that afternoon.  _ All because I mentioned the only man who ever truly cared for me on live television, _ Elton thought, with a shake of his head.

He stood up, grabbing the wall for support as his vision swam. He didn’t  _ really _ have to put up with this nonsense, did he? He didn’t  _ really _ have to sit in wait for the next shoe to drop. He didn’t really have to live in fear for the next time John decided he was worth his ‘loving’ attentions. He was a grown man, for Christ’s sake. He didn’t have to live in fear if he didn’t want to.

_ If he won’t leave me, I can leave him, can’t I?, _ Elton thought.

Packing a few things in his old rucksack with a renewed purpose, Elton smiled faintly.  _ I can leave here, take a break. I can go back home to my mum and Fred, _ he thought, pulling a face.  _ Yeah, definitely not there… I could go to that ranch I heard from Stephen Bernie bought not too long ago.  _ Elton smiled.  _ I won’t even take the Starship. I’ll dress down. I’ll go as a normal bloke. _ _ I’ll pretend the last 6 years of my life never happened. I’ll start over again. Leave everything behind... _

Elton picked a fresh bottle of whisky up on his way to the door.  _ No need to let this go to waste though, _ he thought, putting it in his carefully in his rucksack on top of the few things he held dear. 

He looked towards the bedroom one last time, a stray tear falling from his eye.  _ I love you, John. I’ve loved you with all that I am. I wish you could have loved me back, even just a little…  _ He rubbed his face with his hand.  _ Then I could pretend I hadn’t wasted some of the best years of my life… _

He left with even broker heart.

********************

  
  


“ _ Don’t you think it’s time you went out for a bit, mate? It’s been years since your last proper date, hasnit? _ ”

Bernie groaned, annoyed. He was tired of this conversation that Ray Williams insisted on having each time they spoke on the telephone lately. He leaned against the wall of the kitchen and pinched the bridge of his nose, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “It’s not like I have many options, Raymond. What am I to do? Go to a dingy backyard club and get rightly plastered, just to get the confidence to find some random bloke to bring home to my two wee ones? Really?”

“ _ What? Can’t find a babysitter in your parts now? And there’s a thing called ‘motels’ for a reason, mate.” _

Bernie thought back to the last time he hired a sitter when his parents had come into town to visit not too long after his divorce was finalized and shuddered. “Sebastian lit the poor lass’s hair on fire last time I hired a sitter, Raymond… Let’s just say not many will risk their feathers so I can have a night out anymore.”

_ “Did he really? Isn’t he a bit young to be playing with fire, then?” _

Bernie chuckled. “He was younger then. 4 years old. Found my zippo in my leather jacket and long story short, I didn’t get my security deposit back when I moved…” Bernie ran his fingers through his hair. “He is mischievous to a fault. Little lad keeps me on my toes every damn day. I don’t know where he gets it from, but every day is an adventure with him... I do sincerely hope he grows out of it soon, though. It’s a lot for me to deal with alone.”

_ “Well, I have good news for you, then, mate. Dick is sending me to Hollywood to do some work with a new artist. Kind of like he did with Elton, ya know, a few nights at the Troubadour. That’s what? Four hours from you?” _

“About that, yeah. You thinking about visiting then?”

“ _ Oh, not thinking. Will be. Might actually stay, haven’t planned that far yet. But God, it’s cold here in London and Dick is worse than he used to be... I’ll ring you with more detail once I have them, mate.” _

“Great. That’ll be good. Sammy will be thrilled to bits to see you. She asks about you all the fucking time. She still says she’s going to marry you someday,” Bernie said with a long suffering sigh.

Ray laughed heartily. “ _ That little lass is just the sweetest, ain’t she? I’ll ring you later, mate. Take my advice and go out one night. Act your age for even a moment. It will do you a world of good.” _

“Right. Later, mate,” Bernie said, hanging up the phone, shaking his head slightly.

He walked towards the kitchen sink, rolling up the sleeves of his red flannel shirt.  _ Go out, he says. Have fun for a night. Remember you’re twenty-six, not fifty, _ he thought, running the faucet and pouring some Dawn into the dishpan.  _ Only have two six year old children, a house to take care of, livestock to look after, a full-time job at the Mill, plus the kids after-school activities… Sure, Raymond, I have plenty of time, don’t I? _

Bernie scrubbed the fry pan with a bit more force than was necessary.  _ As wonderful as it would be to go out sometime, I knew what I was getting into when I told Mary she couldn’t have custody. I knew what I was getting into when I bought this land, and all that came with it. I knew that my life would not be lived for me. And I’m quite happy with this arrangement, thank you very much,  _ he thought, rinsing the pan quickly. 

He looked at the pile of dishes beside the sink and groaned. He leaned back, sighing in relief as his back cracked.  _ Did they multiply in seconds? I need to invest in a dishwasher. I am used up. _

Back when he met Reg all those years ago, he never expected his life to end up being so mundane. From the moment Bernie met Reg, he knew that things would never be boring as long as he was in his life. He was fire and passion and had such talent. He was mesmerising and so full of charisma… They were polar opposites, but they just  _ worked _ .

_ Then I sold my share to the devil, and ended up here, in this life, which I wouldn’t trade for anything, _ Bernie thought, trying to convince himself it was truth, even with the two hooligans having a shouting match in the other room over who was in charge of the tele for the evening.

He threw down the sponge, barely having touched the pile that had been there for days now, and not finding it in him to care.  _ When did I get so lazy? _ , he wondered, as he grabbed the remote out of Sebastian’s hands with a quiet command to go outdoors till dark and play as he had done so many afternoons after a long day of work, and went to his bedroom. He locked the door behind him and collapsed on his bed. 

_ Just a little nap. Just a little respite. Just a little escape from the stress that is my life. It will all be better when I wake up, _ he thought, covering his head with one of his pillows. _Because God, it can't get any worse, can it?_


	3. Chapter 3

“If I had known it was going to be a full day on that small of an aeroplane I wouldn’t have done it” _ , _ Elton grumbled to himself as he marched through the airport, rucksack hung over his right shoulder, baseball cap low over his eyes. He hadn’t been recognized by anyone other than one stewardess, thank God, but he knew it was only a matter of time if the other travelers wouldn’t  _ hurry the fuck up _ so he could make it to the exit.

He hated crowds with a passion. His anxiety would skyrocket to epic proportions, he would break out in cold sweats, he would even disassociate if he didn’t do the stupid word exercises the doctor had recommended during his stay in the rehab facility all those years ago. 

Not always a great quality in a performer, of course, but he managed. He always managed, somehow.

He breathed in deeply the moment he made it through the double doors. He reached in his pocket for his cigarettes, fumbling slightly but getting his pack and lighter out in the end, and lit one quickly.

He sat on the bench and focused on his breathing.  _ It was silly _ , he thought,  _ sitting here when I should already be in a taxi, but now I don’t know if I am even doing the right thing. Uprooting the life he has set up for himself, which I hear he is doing quite well in. _

_ Is it selfish? I am known to be selfish from time to time. But God… I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Bernie will know which direction I should be headed in, won’t he? _

He took a long drag of his cigarette.  _ Maybe I’ll go at it alone for a bit instead. I need to get a handle of myself, I reckon, before I do anything rash. _

He threw his rucksack over his shoulder once again and hailed a taxi. “To the nearest pub, good chap,” he murmured, shutting his eyes.  _ I’ll drink until I’m numb, and then I’ll find a room somewhere. Then I’ll figure things out. _

The fact he had no American currency didn’t register until well into the bottle that evening.

***************

Bernie blinked owlishly as the telephone on his bedside table rang loudly. He looked at the digital clock and frowned.  _ Who’s calling me at 1 in the bloody morning?, _ he thought grumpily, lifting himself up on his elbow.  _ They better not have woke up the hooligans, or there will be hell to pay. _

He picked up the receiver slowly, blinking the last vestige of sleep from his eyes. “What?,” he answered, unable to bring himself to use useless pleasantries so early in the morning.

_ “Hey Bernie… Guess who?” _

Bernie sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “ _ Reggie? _ What the  _ fuck _ , mate. I don’t hear from you for three bloody years and you call me  _ now? _ I don’t know where you are in the world but it’s 1 in the morning in California.”

“ _ Yeah, I know it is. I’m closeby, actually, believe it or not. You live in Fresno, yeah?” _

“Yes,” Bernie replied.

_ “Sorry to call at an unreasonable hour, but listen, I’m in a wee bit of trouble.” _

“You  _ are _ trouble, Reggie,” Bernie muttered, running his fingers through his hair.

He heard Elton snort from the other side of the line. “ _ Suppose that’s true… But listen, I really need your help, if you would be so kind? I ran up quite a bit of a pub tab this evening before realizing I only have pounds. The bartender has been glaring at me for ages now, threatening a call to the bobbies soon if I can’t pay up. Can you help a mate out? Not really feeling like going to jail tonight...” _

Bernie glared darkly at the telephone. “I have  _ kids _ now, Reg. I can’t just drop everything to come bail you out because of your idiocy anymore…”

“ _ Please, Bernie? Please don't make me ring John... He'll kill me,”  _ Elton asked, his voice so small it made Bernie pause.

He knew he should tell Elton to piss off. He knew he should tell Elton he was an idiot to expect him to run to help him like he always did when they were younger. He knew he should just hang up the phone, and pretend this conversation never happened. He knew he should tell Elton he didn’t need the rubbish he brought with him each time Bernie accepted him back in his life, when things were finally going well enough for him.

“What pub, Reg?,” he said instead, closing his eyes. “I’ll be there within the hour… They close at 3, yeah?”

“ _ Yeah, darling. Thank you ever so much. I’ll uh… I’ll see you soon, then.” _

Bernie slammed the receiver back on the cradle, angry at himself, because he knew in his heart he could never leave Elton to clean up his own messes when he had the means to help him.

_ The kids are going to be pissed when I wake them, _ Bernie thought, throwing on a black t-shirt and his slippers.  _ No matter how I phrase our misadventure, waking two 6 year olds in the middle of the night is a recipe for disaster... _


	4. Chapter 4

Elton ran his fingers along the still-soft material of the sectional sofa. He shouldn’t be surprised at how well Bernie had taken care of it over the years, of course. It was Bernie who took meticulous care of _all_ his possessions. It was Bernie that kept everything until there was no hope of repairing it.

“Story of our friendship, ain’t it?,” Elton muttered.

Bernie shook himself awake, again. “Wha’re banging on about over there?,” Bernie asked, rubbing his eyes. He took his cup of coffee off of the side table and gazed at Elton. “Why are you petting my sofa?”

“It’s still soft... Was just thinking ‘bout our differences, ya know, Bern…? I’ve had four different sofas in my main sitting area alone since I bought this for you… When?... Eight years ago now?”

“Nearly ten, mate.” Elton gaped. “Right? Time goes by so fast… I mean, for Christ’s sake… my bloody kids just turned six, mate! It’s been to three different flats and then here, of course. It’s a bitch to move and I cursed you each and every time I had to,” Bernie replied with a shrug. He took a sip of his coffee. “It hasn’t been my bed in years, though, so it was easier to take care of, I suppose.”

Elton nodded once, still petting the couch absentmindedly. “You take care of everything you own. You haven’t had it easy yourself, but you still take care of everyone you can and are teaching your children the same. You never ask for help with anything, even when you desperately need it. Hell, you bundled up two tots, came to pick my sorry arse up from the pub, put them back to bed, and rather than going to kip yourself you are sitting up with me... You are the man I never understood, but certainly I wish I could have been...”

“When did you get so bloody philosophical?,” Bernie asked, a small smile on his face.

“Usually happens at four o’clock in the morning, in any time zone,” Reg said just so matter-of-factly, with just a single nod, that Bernie laughed heartily. Elton smiled.

Bernie rubbed his forehead. “Speaking of four in the fucking morning, I should probably head to bed. It’s going to be hell getting Sebastian up for school, and I still have to go to work after. I can’t miss anymore days.”

“Where do you work now?,” Elton asked, hopping to his feet quickly, frowning when Bernie struggled to find his footing. “You alright, mate?”

Bernie waved his hand when Reg tried to help. “I’m fine, Reg, just dodgy knees. Getting older every day, you know.” He stretched his arms above his head. “I work at a factory downtown. Follow me, then, yeah?”

“What kind of factory?,” Elton asked, frowning even more at Bernie’s limp as he made his way down the narrow hallway.

“Does it really matter?,” Bernie countered without pause.

“Just curious, is all…”

Bernie sighed. “Well, I’m knackered, Reg. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow if your still curious whilst sober. Here’s the room, Reg. Probably not up to your usual standards, but it’ll do for the night at least. Kind of short notice, you see.” Elton nodded, a sheepish look on his face. Bernie laughed softly and hugged him close. “I really am glad you called me tonight. I missed you, and fret over you. Get some rest.”

“G’night, Bernie,” Elton said, squeezing Bernie tight. “Love you, mate.”

“And I you, Reg.” Bernie turned to make his way to his own room. “Oh, if you get hungry there’s some food in the pantry and refrigerator. I need to head to the market soon, so there’s not much of a selection, but eat if you want to, mate. You are skin and bones.”

“Yes, Mother,” Elton grumbled, quietly watching Bernie continue to limp down the hall.

Bernie paused at his bedroom door. “Oh and Reg? If Reid shows up here... I _will_ kill him. Be a darling and pass on the message, won’t you?,” he asked, before locking himself in his bedroom.

******************

  
  


As much as Bernie tried, he couldn’t relax enough to rest anymore that morning. His whole body ached. His head pounded from the interrupted sleep. He spent his two hours ‘rest’ constantly fretting about what would happen now that he allowed Elton back in his life, no matter how long the term, when he finally had grown accustomed to going at it alone. 

Now with Ray coming to visit as well, and with how Elton and John had broken off his contract with DJM, well... 

When his alarm clock began beeping at 6 o’clock he couldn’t help but throw it against the wall.

He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. _Would it really be so bad, losing my job?,_ he thought, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. _I’m getting worse every day there. Standing in the same spot for hours on end, then coming home and working outside for hours more. I have enough saved that it wouldn’t be an issue right away._

He heard Samantha crying in the room next door. He heard Sebastian tell her to stop, and that it was too early for her nonsense. _I agree, kiddo. Much too early,_ he thought, throwing his dressing gown over his bare shoulders. _I think we are all going to take today off. If I have more than today, well, I’ll make due. I always make due._

He walked into the twin’s room, grabbing Samantha as she jumped into his arms, only wincing slightly. “Oof… What’s wrong, little love?,” he asked, limping to her twin sized bed against the wall. He collapsed on the bed, rubbing her back, as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Make her stop, Daddy. Want to sleep,” Sebastian whined, burrowing deeper under his duvet.

“I’m trying, little one. I’m trying,” Bernie muttered, rocking her gently from side to side. “You’re overtired, aren’t you, little love. Don’t worry, darling, we’re going to take the day off of everything today. Daddy’s not going to work. You both don’t have to worry about going to school, or to your practices, or even go outside at all if you don’t want to. Nothing at all. Alright?”

“No school?,” Samantha mumbled into his shoulder.

“Nope. You get to go back to sleep and sleep as long as you like, okay, little love? Okay, little lad? Can you do that for Daddy?”

“Yeah,” they said in unison.

Bernie kissed Samantha’s forehead. “Good good. Let’s get you back under the duvet, little love, alright?”

“Love you, Daddy,” Samantha whispered, rolling onto her side.

“Love you too, little love,” Bernie replied, kissing the top of her head. He limped over to Sebastian’s bed and kissed the sleeping boys forehead as well. “Love you, little lad.”

 _One disaster handled before I even have had a cup of coffee,_ Bernie thought with a smile. He stopped outside the spare bedroom and listened as Elton’s soft snores came through. _Good, he’s still asleep. He needs it._ Bernie sat on his bed and held his head in his hands. _How can I be so used up before 7 in the morning? Something isn’t right._

He poured some of his valium into his hand. He never looked at how many he had before he threw them in his mouth and took a few sips of water.

He burrowed under his duvet and placed a pillow over his head. _I’ll make the calls later. Fuck everything about this morning. Just need a little sleep. Just need a little respite. I’ll take care of it all later._


	5. Chapter 5

Elton felt eyes on him long before he opened his own. He opened his eyes slowly and winced. His hangover was worse than he imagined it would be when he knocked back glass after glass the night before. He blinked owlishly at the two children that stood next to the bed in their dressing gowns, eyes wide and their hands clutched together as though seeking strength.

 _What bonkers situation do I find myself in now, eh?,_ he thought. “Where’m I?,” he asked, turning onto his back and stretching his arms above his head. “Why are the blinds even open? The sun is madness this morning.”

“You’re at our house, Sir. Who are you?,” the girl asked, tilting her head slightly. “Daddy said we had to pick up some trouble last night, but never said who you really were.”

Elton nodded. “Ah, yes, I’m at Bernie’s house, right...,” he muttered, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I’m Elton John, lass. Pleasure to meetcha.”

“ _You’re_ the weird guy from the telly?,” the boy asked in shock. “Daddy said he knew you but I didn’t believe him.”

“Ya, I suppose I am that ‘weird guy from the telly’,” Elton replied, sitting up. He folded his hands on his lap. “Let us meet properly, eh? What’s your names, then, eh?”

“I’m Samantha, but my Daddy calls me Sammy, and this is Sebastian, Mr. Elton.”

“Big name for such a little lad,” Elton said, holding out his hand to shake.

“I don’t like nicknames, Mister,” Sebastian said, folding his arms across his chest and ignoring the outstretched hand. “Not even Daddy can call me a nickname.”

Elton snorted. “Speaking of your Daddy, aren’t you lot supposed to be in school and he at work by now? It has to be close to noontime, yeah?”

“No, Mr. Elton. We are taking a ‘mental health day’. Daddy says they are just as important as physical health days. What do you think, Mr. Elton? Is he right? He is still in bed, though,” Samantha said in seemingly one breath. 

“Can you make us breakfast please, Mr. Elton? We aren’t allowed to cook or nothing and we are hungry,” Sebastian asked. Elton winced at the slight whine in his voice.

“I suppose I can rustle something up. Give me a mom’, yeah?,” he asked, getting to his feet. He was almost knocked back on the bed after their enthusiastic hugs of thanks, before they rushed back out the door. Elton smiled at their retreat.

 _So much like Bernie, they are,_ he thought, slipping his shoes on his feet. _Well, how Bernie used to be that is. So happy and full of hope. I miss that about him._

He ran his fingers over the hardwood as he made his way down the hallway. _I wish I could go back and make different decisions. If I could, maybe I wouldn’t be running from my life. If I could, maybe Bernie would be well. If I could, I would have known the names of his children long before they turned six years old… And they would have known me long before I selfishly encroached myself back in Bernie’s life._

“Do you know how to cook, Mr. Elton?,” Sammy asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“I used to, lass. It’s been a long, long time since I had to cook anything myself, though,” Elton said with a one shoulder shrug. He ignored their confused looks and opened the refrigerator. He frowned. _When Bernie said he had to go to the market, I didn’t expect it to the ice box to be almost empty…,_ he thought. He opened the cupboards and found them suitably bare as well. 

“Well, what are you going to make us, Mr. Elton?,” Sammy asked, climbing on her stool at the kitchen island.

“I don’t have a clue, lass,” Elton muttered, running his fingers through his hair. “Can you go wake your Daddy and maybe he can bring us out and I can buy you some food, yeah?”

“Daddy’s door’s locked and he isn’t answering us. We tried him before we tried you,” Sebastian said, climbing on his own stool.

 _Great…,_ Elton thought, running his fingers through his hair again. “Taxi it is then. You can uh… You can dress yourself, right?,” he asked, frowning when they burst into laughter. He glared at them, which only made them laugh harder. “What? I'm never around kids, am I?”

“Of course we can dress ourselves, Mr. Elton. Be back soon.”

“Good good,” he muttered.

He knocked on Bernie’s door. “I’m taking your kids out for food, I guess, since you don’t have any. I don’t know why you aren’t up yet, but I thought knowing I’m taking your kids out would do it.” Elton was met with silence. “Hope you’re alright in there, mate.”


	6. Chapter 6

Bernie felt a large hand on his shoulder shaking him hard. He didn't understand what was happening. No one in his house had large hands but himself... He heard a soft voice speaking to him, but couldn’t make out the words. Sensing something was just not right he sat up quickly. He regretted it instantly. He groaned loudly, holding his head in his hands, his whole body trembling. “What the bloody fuck?,” he whispered, his breath coming in short pants.

The soft voice continued to speak. He blinked once again, hoping for even a semblance of clarity. _What’s going on with me?_ “Raymond?,” he asked, flinching at the harsh rasp of his voice. “That you?”

He heard a deep sigh of relief. “Aye. Yes, Bernie, it’s me. Thank God you’re alright. I was getting pretty worried here, mate,” Ray said, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand never lifting from Bernie’s shoulder. He handed Bernie a glass of water. “Been trying to wake you for twenty minutes now, and the tots say they haven’t seen you in three bloody days. No one thought to pick the lock to check on you of course... Leaving them in the care of Elton, mate? Really?”

“It wasn't intentional, Ray... Wait... Three bloody days?,” Bernie gasped, almost dropping the glass on the duvet. “That makes today…”

“Friday, yes. I hadn’t planned on coming until Monday, but when I called and Elton bloody John answered I had to change my plans.”

“The kids are…”

“Fine, albeit worried for you and a little dirty. Elton didn’t do too bad by them, actually. Fed them, put down the bottle long enough to ensure they were safe, and made sure they got sleep. Hard to believe, I know... He went to the pub once I showed up here, of course.”

“My job is…”

Ray shrugged. “No doubt lost, but you bloody hated it anyway, mate.”

“My livestock…”

“They’re fine. Sebastian’s been caring for them, just like you taught him. They haven’t been to school all week. You might want to ring their teachers now. It’s two in the afternoon, so not a lot of time,” Ray said, handing him the telephone. Bernie continued to stare at him with wide eyes and his mouth open in shock. Ray sighed, placing the receiver back on the cradle. “Alright, you can call on Monday then.”

“How did I lose three days?,” Bernie asked softly, brokenly, running both hands through his hair and pulling slightly. “This hasn’t happened in years… I've been better, I swear.”

“I know you have been, Bernie. You don't have to try to convince me of that. You’ve had a lot of your plate lately, mate. You probably took a few too many of these little pills right here after picking up the wanker from the pub. He did say you looked rather rough after getting him, and felt terrible. It was bound to happen eventually,” Ray said practically, getting to his feet. “Don’t stress over what’s happened, alright? Nothing you can do but move on, eh?" Bernie nodded slowly. "Get up and take a shower. The hot water will make you feel better. I’ll see what I can do about getting some food in you and the tots, alright?”

Bernie nodded again, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He glared at the bottle of pills, looking so innocent on his side table, wishing more than anything he had to strength to live without them. He pulled himself to his feet, glaring even more darkly at the cane in the corner of his room. 

His children, as sweet as the gesture seemed to them, bought it for him for his last birthday when his movement began to slow. It only proved that his pain was becoming obvious if his children had noticed, and he was unable to ignore it himself anymore.

He shuddered, remembering the night his life changed.

He was freshly divorced for the second time by the age of 24. Elton had just left for the tour with John. He had two three year olds at home vying for his attention in addition to his full time job managing at the mill. Finances were tight because he still refused to touch what was left of the money Reid paid him to leave. He dropped his children off with his elderly neighbors and went to the pub, feeling very sorry for himself indeed. He spent the last of his earnings on booze and powder and attempted to drive home.

He didn't make it.

He woke a few days later at the hospital. The doctors told him he would never walk again. They told him he hit a tree and was thrown out the windshield on impact. They told him he was lucky to be alive, and should make due with what he had. He got off with a slap on the wrist from law enforcement, knowing he deserved much worse than what he got. It took a year of hard work, dipping into his dreaded savings more and more as time went on, but he proved the initial diagnosis wrong.

He was back doing work at the factory by the end of the year.

He was nothing but a set of hands when he returned, of course, knowing he would never be in the right frame of mind again to manage any part of it. He pushed his body hard, both at work and at home, to make a new life for himself and his children. He didn’t listen to his doctor, nor to his own body, about how the excessive strain was ravaging his still broken body.

And now he was paying the price for his foolishness.

He took the cane in his hand, feeling quite dejected. _Need to stop this stubbornness at some point, I suppose… Might as well be now,_ he thought, making his way to the adjoining bath. _Ray’s right. Can’t focus on the past, no matter how many reminders are set before me. I need to move forward._

_Though how I’ll move forward with Reg here I haven’t a bloody clue..._


	7. Chapter 7

“... And then he took us for pizza and we went to the store because he said our cupboards were ‘bare’, but he was silly and had no idea what to buy! We showed him what you normally buy for us, though, so don’t worry, Daddy. We have food now. And  _ then _ some old lady asked for his autograph! Mr. Elton was amazed someone knew who he was in his ‘disguise’. Like a silly hat and purple sunglasses hides who he is… He needs some fashion advice, stat, Daddy! You should help him... Then the lady even cried when he signed her checkout receipt. Daddy, it was just so weird!”

Bernie chuckled, wrapping his arm even tighter around both of his children that sat cuddled against his sides. “I’m glad Reg took such good care of you both while I couldn’t. I’m sure it was pretty bonkers for you, little love. And ‘Mr. Elton’ here does need some style advice. I’m sure you can help him with that, Sammy, he sure doesn’t listen to me.”

“Says the bloke in the old man flannels, eh?,” Elton grumbled, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll have you know my style is sought after on all sides of the world, thank you very much. People pay me to wear their creations!”

“And each time you look like a giant twit. Just saying,” Bernie said. A wide grin spread across his gaunt his face. “Remember the peacock costume?”

Elton groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “Do I ever… I thought we swore to never speak of it again, Bern!”

“You were a peacock, Mr. Elton?,” Samantha asked with a giggle. “Why were you a peacock? Did you have colorful feathers?”

“I have the pictures to prove it,” Bernie said in a conspiratorial tone. “He has had some… interesting outfits over the years, little love, though the peacock was the worst so far, I reckon.”

When Samantha laughed loudly, and even Sebastian cracked a smile, Bernie felt lighter than he had in years. Elton smiled indulgently at the children, even if his red face gave away his embarrassment. 

“I want to see Daddy!,” Sammy said, before launching into another fit of giggles. “A peacock!”

“Yes, yes, truly hilarious, innit…? Now… are we done taking the piss? You told me you’d leave it, Bernie, in the past where it bleeding belongs...”

“My apologies, mate,” Bernie said, a smile still on his face. “Samantha, Sebastian, go wash up for bed, yeah? It’s passed your bedtime, little loves.” They groaned. “I know, such a mean Daddy I am, making you go to bed after letting you both stay up two hours passed your bedtime. I’ll come tuck you in a little bit. Go on now,” he said, gently pushing them to get off the couch.

Bernie and Elton watched them race each other to the bathroom fondly. Bernie rubbed his eyes. “I slept for three days and feel like I didn’t kip at all,” he murmured, stretching his arms above his head. “How are you really doing, Reg? We never really spoke before I left you with all the responsibility, did we?”

Elton tilted his head to the side. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that, mate?,” he asked. “You are so exasperating sometimes.”

“Pot meet kettle…,” Bernie muttered, taking his cane in his hand. He carefully stood up. “I’m not doing so grand, really, but I’ll survive. Want a lager?”

“Love one, but let me fetch it, yeah? You don’t look like you should even be standing right now, Bernie!,” Elton said, jumping to his feet. 

“Nah, I need to move around a bit. You can come with, of course, if you are that worried. Not that like Raymond isn’t sitting in the kitchen right now working on the off chance I do topple over, yeah?,” Bernie replied, unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice. “You want a lager, Raymond?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Ray said, looking up from the papers strewn every which way on the table. “Kids finally allow you up, mate?”

“I sent them to get ready for bed. It’s half past 9 now,” Bernie said, shutting the refrigerator door with his foot. “Quite past their bedtime as it is. Going to go check on them in a few to make sure they actually made it to bed and not their toy chest.” He sat at the table and handed Elton a beer. “They were alright for you, Reg?”

“Oh yes, they are real good kids. The lass will talk your ear off though if you let her, eh? Nothing like you at all. The lad, though, is your mini-me in all ways. How’d you end up with that hassle, eh?”

“Don’t I know it… My mother cursed me good and proper when I was growing up, I swear. You know that little smirk she wears when she’s up to something but won’t admit it? She wears that each time I ask her about it.” Bernie shook his head. “I can’t even get a sitter because he has harassed them all… Even lit a poor girl’s hair on fire one night because I was gone longer than I expected. Learned not to leave any lighters or matches anywhere Sebastian could find them the hard way, I did.”

Elton fell forward laughing. “Christ, that must of been a scene to walk into!”

“I didn’t even get a chance to pay the poor thing… She ran out the minute I came in. I sent her parents an apology and a blank check for the salon. They never cashed it, so I don’t know if it was ever fixed. What I do know is I never could garner another sitter after that, and it happened 2 years ago.”

“Wow!”

“So I signed them up for almost every after-school club and sport I could so I could at least finish my work days. Sebastian was especially pissed when I signed him up for dance class a couple of months back with Sammy when I was having a hard time getting them to two different activities on my break, but we’ve made due.” Bernie pulled his hair back in a low ponytail. “At least now I’m home for a while, I suppose, so he won’t have to return if he doesn’t want to.”

“Let’s change the subject slightly, shall we? Speaking of being home… What are your plans now, Elton?,” Ray asked, throwing his pencil on the stack of papers. “And what of John? Is he going to randomly show up at Bernie’s house too?”

Elton shuddered. “Can we not mention his name, please, mate? I don’t want to speak of him ever again,” Elton begged, wrapping his arms around himself tightly.

“What’s happened, Reg?,” Bernie asked, placing his hand on Elton’s shoulder. Elton shook his head over and over and over again. Bernie looked at Ray, and saw the same concern mirrored on his face that was on his own. “Alright, mate, we won’t speak of John.”

“Thanks,” Elton whispered, grabbing his beer with both hands and gulping down the liquid quickly. “I’m just… I’m going to go lay down for a bit now, if it’s all the same to you, yeah? I’m glad you’re up and about, Bernie.”

“You sure your alright, Reggie?,” Bernie asked, watching Elton get to his feet. Elton nodded once. “Alright, mate. Talk in the morning, then, yeah?” Elton nodded again. “G’night then.”

They watched him as he rushed out of the room, his whole body trembling with each step. “He hasn’t said anything to me,” Ray murmured, answering Bernie’s unasked question. “I’ll do some digging within my contacts. You are the only one he’ll open up to, but you’ll need to open up to him first, Bernie.”

“What are you banging on about now, Raymond?,” Bernie asked, grabbing his bottle of beer. “If I tell him what happened, he is only going to blame himself. You and I both know that, mate. Better to just keep quiet whilst he’s dealing with… Whatever it is he’s dealing with, yeah?”

Ray shook his head. “No, mate. No, that’s how you both ended up here. Keeping secrets and lying to each other just enough so Reid could manipulate you both.  _ You _ need to be honest so he will be honest with you, or you will end up making the same mistakes once again. Only there might not be a next time in which you can fix it.” Ray gathered his papers and placed the stack in his briefcase. 

“Sleep on it, at least, Bernie. And don’t lock your door. I’d rather not have to pick the lock again while I’m visiting my mates, alright?”


	8. Chapter 8

Elton lay awake long after he switched off the bedside lamp. Memories that were just out of reach to make sense were swirling around his mind. Memories he had long ago forgotten. He banged the side of his head with his fist. They were  _ there _ . He just needed to  _ remember. _

He remembered sending Bernie off with a gentle caress to his cheek the day he left for the whirlwind tour John had somehow set up in hours. He remembered the betrayed look upon Bernie’s face when he shut the door just before telling him he loved him. He remembered feeling so gutted as he shut the final door to their friendship per John’s ‘request’, and no amount of substances he pushed through his nose or into his mouth made the pain lessen for the first month.

He remembered John on the phone with his publicist three months into the European leg of his tour. He remembered John telling Gary that if  _ something _ got out it would mean the end of Gary’s work with Rocket. ‘Throw enough money to keep it quiet, Gary, or so help me…’

_ But what? What was it that Gary had to throw money at to keep quiet? _ , Elton thought, covering his face with his pillow.  _ For once it hadn’t been something  _ I _ did, so I hadn’t been slapped around and I didn’t pay much attention to the details… It hadn’t been the band, either, because they were all accounted for that night… _

_ So it must have Bernie. Something Bernie did. No matter how long our break from working together was, people will always put our names together, because that’s how I want it to be. How I’ve always made it to be, no matter John’s anger at my sentimentality,  _ Elton continued, feeling the answer so close, yet out of reach even still.

_ So whatever happened was bad enough that John paid for it all to go away. And whatever happened only happened because I left him, even knowing that he was going through a lot of rubbish in his personal life.  _

_ Some mate I am…, _ Elton thought, turning over onto his side and hugging his knees to his chest.  _ He always helps me when I need it, like now, but when things get rough for him, I run. I always run before I overstay my welcome. _

Elton tossed and turned a few more times before deciding sleep was just not in his cards. He switched the bedside lamp back on with a sigh. He needed to make a telephone call. He needed the memories to make sense in his mind. He needed the fog to clear. He needed a quiet reminder of who he was.

He needed John...


	9. Chapter 9

Elton picked up the receiver, feeling his heart beating almost out of his chest. He dialed  _ their _ phone number swiftly, hoping John was at their home in Surrey, and in a good enough mood to take the call.  _ Talk to John, throw some notes on the kitchen table to keep Bernie afloat, and make my way into the night. No need to keep being a bother when I have a perfectly good home to return to, _ Elton thought, his eyes squeezed tight, twirling the phone cord around his fingers, and counting each ring.

“ _ Hello?” _

Elton shut his eyes. He forgot how his body responded to even just the sound of his voice. “He-hello, John,” he whispered, hugging his arm to his chest. “You-you’re all right?”

_ “I’m fine, pet. And you?,” _ John responded, his deep voice as sweet as honey, entrapping him once again.

“Good… that’s… that’s good… And I’m f-fine, thanks,” Elton said, smacking his forehead at his useless stuttering. 

“ _ Stuttering mess like always, aren’t you, pet… I must say I am surprised to hear from you after the way you left me. No words spoken, no note left either in the room or with reception. Just wake up in the morning to find both you and your things gone, and, as always, me left to make your apologies and clean up the rubbish you left behind… Like always.” _

“Yes,” Elton replied, flinching at how ridiculous he sounded. He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight. I c-can’t even string two words together without sounding like a f-fool, can I?”

_ “You  _ are _ a fool, Elton John,” _ John admonished. He sighed deeply. “ _ But I suppose you are  _ my  _ fool, for better or worse…”  _

Elton shifted where he stood, his mouth dropping open in surprise. He didn’t expect John to accept him back so easily. __

_ “Let me guess, though, darling? Instead of coming to me, like I’ve told you to do before you have these silly little breakdowns, you ran to little Taupin that night, with hopes he would fix your broken heart, yeah? Hoping he would fix your broken little life. You poor, poor little pop star…,”  _ John mocked him _. _

Elton nodded silently.  _ Here’s the John I know, _ he thought bitterly.

_ “But you didn’t know that he himself was just a bit broken, right? Because you never wanted to hear the harsh truth. You didn’t want to hear your ‘brother’ was hurt because of  _ you _. Because you ran from him, just like you run from me…” _ John cleared his throat on the other side of the line. _ “Now you see he is just a bit broken, but ready to forgive your every wrong, once again. You  _ know _ you don’t deserve that, though, so now you don’t know what to do with yourself because broken people need strong people to put them back together… So you call me, with hopes I will still be that strong person.” _

“Yes,” Elton whispered, pressing his forehead to the wall. He hated that John knew him so well.

“ _ And if I say no? If I say I am finished, what then? Will you be able to stay afloat without my guiding hand?” _

“You know I can’t, John,” Elton said, his voice breaking.

“ _ Get on the next flight home, Elton. I will be awaiting the flight number. We’ll talk more when you are in front of me. Am I understood, you pathetic cunt?,”  _ John asked, just before hanging up without waiting for Elton to answer.

The dial tone mocked him. 

He took a deep, shuddering breath before attempting to hang up the phone himself. He slammed it against the wall in a fit of anger before carefully putting it back up. He banged his head on the wall again and again and the sob he had been holding in throughout the conversation burst forth.

_ Pathetic, _ he thought, pulling at his hair.  _ John is right… I’ve always been so fucking pathetic. I’m lucky he answered, and wants me to come home. Yes, so lucky.  _

He wished he could bring himself to actually believe that.


	10. Chapter 10

Elton heard the soft sound of Bernie’s cane on the hardwood long before he saw him. He rubbed his face with his sleeves, trying in vain to stop his tears before he was found.  _ Get your head straight, idiot, no need to worry him when you’ll be leaving within the hour, _ he scolded himself as he positioned himself against the wall, folding his arms across his chest as casually as he could to hide his trembling limbs, and planted the fake smile he wore upon arriving on stage each show.

Bernie stopped in the doorway and blinked. When he awoke to a banging in the kitchen at just after three in the morning, he expected one of his kids getting into something after a night terror, or perhaps even sleepwalking as Sebastian was known to do after highly emotional days. Bernie tilted his head to the side, taking in Elton’s stance with a frown.

He hadn’t expected to see Elton in the kitchen at all, and he certainly hadn’t expected him to look so broken.

“What’re you doing up, Reg?,” Bernie asked carefully, subconsciously mimicking Elton and leaning against the doorframe. “Didn’t you take your medications?”

“Just made a little phone call. Nothing spectacular,” Elton replied with a brief wave of his hand. “I’ll be out of your hair shortly, Bern. I thank you for your hospitality, but I think it’s time I go home again. John is waiting for me.” Elton smiled, very proud at how steady his voice sounded when just a moment ago he was pulling at his hair, even if he knew it no doubt looked more like a grimace.

“I don’t think so, Reg,” Bernie said slowly, pushing himself off the door frame with practiced ease. “You aren’t going anywhere. Not yet, at least.” 

“You aren’t my keeper, Bernie,” Elton said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “I have to go. It’s time to get back to my life. I was silly to run at all.” 

He shifted nervously when Bernie did not stop walking towards him. “What’re you doing mate? Should you even be out of bed?”  _ How can he even stand to be around me? _

Bernie ignored his nervousness. “And thank God I’m not your keeper, mate. I’d be locked up in an asylum for sure by now,” Bernie replied with a small quirk to his lips. He cupped Elton’s cheek in his hand. “I finally have you back in my life, Reg, and I’m not letting you go. Not yet. Not without a fight. I’ve learned from my mistakes.”

“You… You don’t need me, Bernie. You have everything you ever hoped for, because I haven’t held you back. Your ranch, your kids, your animals... I’ll only ruin it if I stay much longer. I ruin everything I touch,” Elton said softly, leaning into Bernie’s gentle caress in spite of himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he was touched so sweetly. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

Bernie shook his head, the smile never leaving his face. “No, Reg. You shan’t ruin anything. You’ve never ruined anything, for me. I made my own choices.”

“No,” Elton whispered, closing his eyes.

“I might not  _ need _ you, Reg, but I  _ want _ you. I want to share my life with you, however that may be. My biggest regret in my fucking life is running from you. For allowing John fucking Reid to manipulate me into thinking you would be better off without me. Just as he manipulated you into thinking you are better off without me.” Bernie shook his head. “But we aren’t, are we? Better apart?,” Bernie asked, running his thumb over Elton’s cheek gently, wiping the traitorous tears that fell from Elton’s eyes.

“No, we aren’t better apart, really,” Elton agreed, placing his hand on Bernie’s hip, a half smile forming on his face. “We are fools to think otherwise.”

“So don’t run from me this time, Reg. Let’s figure this out. Let’s work out what we want now. Not what Reid wants. Not what society wants. What  _ we _ want. After we have our discussion if you still want to go back to him, I won’t stop you, but can we do that before you decide?”

“I suppose we can do that,” Elton said quietly. “But I really do need to get on one of the next flights as soon as possible, Bernie. John’s expecting me.”

Bernie smiled. “ _ If _ you decide to go after our discussion, I’ll bring you to the airport myself, Reg. But… Well… Can we continue this in the sitting room over a beer? We have a lot to discuss, and well… I’d rather you not have to pick me up off the floor because my legs went out on me again.”

“Of course! For Christ’s sake, I am such a bleeding fool,” Elton said, stepping away from him as though he was electrocuted.

“Reg, it’s okay. I’m not going to fall apart because I stood up for a bit. This is no one’s fault but my own. Grab a couple from the icebox on your way?”

“Yeah, alright,” Elton muttered, rubbing his head.  _ Just give him the few minutes he’s asking for, arsehole. Then you can go. _

_ John’s going to fucking kill me... _


	11. Chapter 11

“Uh, mate? I don’t think we need the whole case in here, do we?,” Bernie asked when he saw Elton drop the box on the coffee table, his head tilted in confusion. “I mean, it’s already half past three in the morn’, mate…”

“Speak for yourself, Bern…,” Elton muttered, popping open a bottle and handing it to Bernie. “I think this conversation is going to call for quite a bit of liquor… At least on my end.”

Bernie shrugged. “Suit yourself, I suppose,” he replied, watching him pop open two bottles for himself. “I didn’t realize every conversation needed a drink with you now. When did that happen, Reg?”

Elton gulped down his whole beer and threw it down on the coffee table beside his the other. “Will you stop calling me Reg, Bernie? That hasn’t been my name in some time now... It’s getting old, mate. Truly.”

“I didn’t realize it bothered you.”

“You never asked, did you?,” Elton asked, his eyes narrowing. “You never asked my feelings on quite a few things, Bernie, really, so I can’t say it’s surprising. You never asked how I would feel when you left me at Mama Cass’s party to have sex with a random fangirl... You never asked how I would feel when you went on a trip rather than go take in the town like we had planned before we even landed in America. You never asked how I would feel before you put your first wife before our career. And  _ then _ you never asked how I would feel when you left your first wife, and me, in one fell swoop, did you?” Elton jumped to his feet and began to pace the length of the sitting room, his anger making him restless.

“I apologized about that numerous times, Re-Elton…”

“And you never asked how I would feel when you left me, alone, with no one  _ real _ in my life.” Elton pulled at his hair, needing something to ground him from the wildness in his mind. “You asked when I fucking gave up, remember? At the hospital, when I woke up and found you sitting there, just before you left to go to your second fucking wife and wonderful children. It was then, Bernie. It was when you left me, knowing at least part of what I was going through, knowing the pure  _ hell _ my relationship had become, and how I couldn’t get out of it even if I tried because John is so entangled in both my personal and professional lives, and you just  _ left _ again!”

“Elton… I…”

“No! No, I don’t want to hear your useless apologies! The time has long passed for those, Bernie... I have tried and tried to move on. I have tried and tried to kick my addictions, to be  _ well _ , even for just a full day, but you know what? They’re the only  _ real _ things in my life most of the time so I don’t  _ want _ to. The drink has never broken my bloody heart. The food has never broken my bones. The cocaine and weed and even the heroine has never told me how bloody  _ worthless _ I am. How  _ pathetic _ I am. How miserably inadequate I am…” Elton collapsed back in the arm chair, holding his head in his hands, tears streaming from his eyes. “No matter how many records I sell, no matter how many shows I perform, no matter how obedient I am, I’m just not good enough...”

“That’s not true, R-Elton.”

“Stop saying that! Stop saying my feelings aren’t ‘true’, Bernie. Stop saying my life isn’t fucked where I stand, because you don’t know half of what’s happened to me.”

“So bloody tell me, Reg! Make me understand!”

Elton reached for his beer, staring at his trembling fingers. He grasped the neck of the bottle tightly, unwilling to drop his lifeline. He took a long drink from the bottle. “No, Bernie. No. I…”

They looked towards the hallway when they heard a door open and shut softly. “Everything alright out here, lads? Only, the yelling out here woke me, and I’m bloody certain the kids will wake if you both don’t fucking keep it down in here…,” Ray said, a patient smile on his face that seemed out of place in regards to his biting tone of voice.

“Sorry, mate,” Elton said softly, staring at his feet.

“Sorry, Raymond. Just a bit of a disagreement. We’ll keep it down,” Bernie said, taking another bottle out of the case. “You want a beer?”

“Why are we drinking at four in the morning?,” Ray asked, accepting the beer with a nod of thanks.

“Well, we started at 3:30, actually,” Bernie said with a shrug of his shoulders. He nodded to Elton. “Elton here plans to go home to Surrey in a few hours, and I’m trying to figure out why he thinks it’s a good idea.”

“I have obligations...”

“Which you ran from and came here.”

Elton groaned. “Which was a mistake. You had a bloody breakdown the day I showed up, mate. You don’t want me here, Bernie. I’m only going to keep causing you pain.” Elton rubbed his forehead. “I think this conversation is going nowhere fast. Just bring me to the damn airport, Bernie, or let me call a cab.”

“The breakdown was a long time coming, Elton. Ray knew it was close, which is the real reason he came to the states…” He looked at the blushing man beside him. “Nice try, though, mate, using work as an excuse when you just told me three months ago you quit...” He looked back at Elton. “It has nothing to do with you. And if you hadn’t of been here, my children would have scared shitless and probably hurt. It was a blessing you showed up,” Bernie replied. “I haven’t taken very good care of myself over the years, and this is my punishment. It has nothing to do with you.”

Elton remained stubbornly silent.

Bernie sighed. “Call a damn cab, Elton, if you are convinced you need to leave. I won’t be bringing you there so you can die...,” Bernie said as he struggled to stand with his cane in hand. He waved Ray away crossly when he tried to stand to help. “No, I’m good, Raymond. See if you can get through to this twat, because I apparently can't be forgiven for my mistakes. Best of luck, Elton, with whatever you fucking decide.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few time jumps in this chapter. I hope it isn't too confusing.

“You need help Elton,” Ray said gently, almost unwilling to break the stilted silence he found himself in. He cursed Bernie to hell for leaving him with Elton and expecting him to talk some sense into the senseless man.

Elton scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “Fat lot that did the last time, Ray,” he replied crossly. “I left within a fortnight and almost killed myself in the process. It was bloody ridiculous there, and I will not do it again.”

“How about outpatient then? Have you considered that before?,” Ray asked after biting his tongue hard to keep what he really wanted to say quiet. “The way you are going is going to lead to a grave, mate, before your next birthday. I don’t want Bernie, or the little loves now that they know about you, to have to deal with the aftermath caused by your personal hell, because you know well and good that John won’t do it.”

Elton snorted. “‘Personal hell’. That’s one way to put it. Tell me,  _ Raymond _ , why do you think getting ‘help’ will actually do anything for me? You know how stubborn I am, and I’m sure you heard quite a bit of what I was saying before you made your way out here.”

“Tell me,  _ Elton _ , why you think John is a better idea?,” Ray countered, raising a single eyebrow. “Why do you think John will fix you, when he’s the one who fucking made you into what you are today?”

“He had help,” Elton muttered, reaching for another beer. “He never dirties his hands anymore if he can help it. He learned his lesson whilst spending a month in lockup in New Zealand,” he explained when Ray looked at him oddly. “It is quite amusing how many people line up to hurt me on his command, really, and how many times I’ve actually allowed it without question.” His smile held no humor at Ray’s gaping jaw as he shrugged. “He can be quite persuasive.”

Ray rubbed his face with his hand. “So you wish to return to that life, rather than making a new one with a bloke who actually cares for you? Who actually is in love with you? I don’t understand, Elton.”

“It’s what I know, Ray. I’ve never known healthy relationships, except for what I had with Bernie when we were young lads first starting out in childhood bedroom.” Elton shrugged his shoulders once again. “My life is shit, when truly I should have the best life with all that I have given.”

“So change it.”

“It’s not that simple…”

“Sure it is, Elton. It’s as easy as going to the guest bedroom and sleeping off the alcohol in your system, and starting anew once your hangover is over. It’s as simple as firing John from your management team, and finding one that truly cares about you, not what you bring to the table. I have quite a few contacts within the industry, Elton, you must know that… It’s as simple as not returning to the man who hurts you, and look towards the one who thinks you hung the moon,” Ray finished softly, gently, watching as Elton scrubbed his eyes with his sleeve. Ray gave into the urge and gathered the poor man in his arms, rocking him like he would one of his godchildren. “That man may have some difficulties in his own life as well, and more baggage than you expect him to have so young, but his love for you has never faded. Trust me, you are all he ever talks about. Let us in, Elton. Let us help you. Let us help you live.”

  
  


*****************

Elton sat at the telephone, aware of his watcher’s eyes on him. He pulled the notecard Bernie helpfully had laminated on the way to the center with his phone number out of the pocket of his center issued pajamas. He grimaced when ever he looked at the drab grey material he was forced to wear every day here, so unlike his usual flair it hurt deep inside.

He picked up the telephone slowly. He dialed Bernie’s number slowly. He did everything so slowly now he barely recognized himself. His slippered foot tapped on the unforgiving cement floor of his section within the center. Once his detox was completed, he would be moved to a different section.

He certainly hoped it seemed less like a prison there…

“ _ Hello?” _

Elton shut his eyes tight. This was not the first time he had heard Bernie’s voice since he was admitted, but so far it was the first time he had not hung up the moment he heard it.  _ Progress, _ he thought, repeating the word his doctors’ had continuously drilled into his head during his sessions.  _ Every bit forward is progress. _

“‘Lo, Bernie,” he whispered, much too aware at his raspy his voice sounded.

“ _ Elton! I am so happy to hear your voice, love. How are you doing?” _

“I’m… I’m getting better, I suppose, each day,” Elton replied, doing his best to quiet his racing heart at the fact Bernie called him ‘love’. “How… How are you? And the wee ones? And Raymond?”

“ _ We are good, Elton. Much better now that we have heard from you, of course.” _

“Of course,” Elton repeated, feeling a hollowness he couldn’t quite explain. “I hope you don’t mind, Bernie, but I filled out some paperwork including you in my treatment plan. That means you can call or stop by here and ask any questions and actually receive answers. I thought you’d like that…”

“ _ Thank you, Elton. You’re trust means the world to me, love. Tell me, do you know when you will be able to receive visitors?” _

“I’m still in the detox side of the facility. It’s… It’s hell here, Bernie. I wouldn’t want you to see me in this place, even if you were able. I’ll ask if you can come when I am moved to the rehabilitation side.”

“ _ Do you know when that will be?” _

Elton blinked. “How long have I even been here?”

“ _ Five days, Elton.” _

“ _ God _ , that’s it? It feels like fucking months, mate,” Elton groused, smiling slightly at Bernie’s ringing laughter. “Then just a few more, I reckon. I have a lot of stuff coming out of my body apparently, so they took the safe route of 7 to 9 days on constant watch. It’s been hell. You should see what they gave me to  _ wear _ Bernie. It’s  _ ridiculous! _ ”

Bernie laughed even harder. “ _ Only you would be complaining about your wardrobe while you in a hospital detoxing, Elton.” _

“Time’s up,” his watcher said gently.

Elton shut his eyes. “I have to go now Bernie. I don’t know when I’ll be allowed to call out again, but hopefully you’ll be available. I…”

“ _ I know, Elton. And I love you too,” _ Bernie said soothingly.

Elton hung up the phone slowly. He got to his feet slowly. He followed his watcher back to his room slowly. 

_ Go slow… go steady… progress…, _ he thought, laying down on the uncomfortable cot in the sparsely decorated room.  _ This fucking blows… _

  
  


******************

Elton sat on the bench in the gardens feeling much more at ease with his surroundings. The gardens outside his parents semi-detached growing up were some of his happiest moments in his childhood. His Nan taught him all she knew about gardening, and it had made him feel so special each time they worked together. 

He missed his Nan…

It had been a grueling month, learning to wake without a promise of a line. Learning to speak without alcohol in his hands. He was still learning how to eat regular portions at regular times and how to rid himself of the anxiety that caused it all to come back up after each meal. 

That would take a long while to gain control of, apparently.

He had a visitor checking in at the front desk he had heard, and he was ecstatic. It just  _ had _ to be Bernie. No one but him and Raymond even knew where he was at the moment. The smile hadn’t left his face since he was informed by one of the aides who had taken a liking to him.

It had been a long while since he heard anything about the outside world.

He heard footsteps approaching him. He jumped to his feet, arms in the air ready to embrace his best friend, when his heart jumped into his throat.

“What are  _ you _ doing here?”


	13. Chapter 13

“It took an embarrassingly long time to track you down, Elton. Doctor/patient confidentiality and all that other rot. I spent quite a bit of money to find you, which you will return to me tenfold when you check out of this misbegotten place,” John replied, flicking a bit of pollen off his otherwise perfectly fitted black suit, his hair perfectly curled on his head, with a smirk on his face.

Elton felt absolutely absurd in his grey hospital pajamas and un-brushed hair.

“I… I… What if I d-don’t want to?,” Elton asked, cursing himself inwardly at the stuttering mess he was already becoming when faced with his own personal demon. “I’m getting be-better ev-ev-every day, John. Why would I ch-cha-change that?”

John raised his eyebrows, the blasted smirk still on his face. He walked towards Elton, his arms out at his side, his hands palmed up, as though approaching a wounded animal. “Are you now, pet? Because I just say you seem just as dim witted as the last time I saw you." Elton shuddered when John put a hand on his face. "And you’ve gained a bit of weight, darling. Your face, your waist, your thighs... It’s unseemingly.”

Elton flushed to the roots of his thinning hair. 

“So come now. Let’s go sign those little papers and get you back home where you belong. I’ve missed you, love,” John cooed, running his fingers through Elton’s hair soothingly. “I've missed waking up to your face on my pillow. I've missed wrapping my arms around you and kissing your forehead. I've missed your lips on mine. Haven't you missed me?"

Elton nodded, because the truth was, he did miss the semblance of love they shared.

"And this  _ place _ is unfit for you, pet. I can help you more than these people can, can’t I?”

Elton shook his head. "No, I ca-can't leave he-here... Bernie sa... Bernie said." 

_I’m_ _ going to fucking vomit, _ he thought, his breaths coming in quick pants, trying to pull away from John's grasp. “Stop. Please,” Elton begged, squeezing his eyes as tight as he could, his nails digging into his palms as he fisted his hands by his sides. _Pain... Pain is good. Pain centers me. Need more..._ “Please, just leave me alone.”

“Now you know I can’t do that, pet. I own you. I own every part of you. I own your mind,” John said, patting his head. “I own your heart.” He placed his hand on Elton’s chest. “And I own your soul. I have only come to collect what’s mine.”

Elton shook his head once again. "You would have nothing without me, John," he whispered, repeating what Bernie and Raymond had reminded him almost on a daily basis, as he shoved his hands in his pockets.  _ Where are the aides when I need them?, _ he thought, frantically searching the gardens for any one who could be of help. “Did you pay them to get me alone out here, too, John?,” Elton asked angrily, stepping back from John’s touch.

“Just the one bloke. He’s a 'big fan', he said,” John said with a one shoulder shrug.

Elton shook his head. “You are unbelievable, John,” Elton replied, walking towards the door to the center.  _ Keep walking, Elton. One foot in front of the other. Pretend he doesn’t exist. You can do this, _ he thought, pulling out of John’s grasp twice before he finally gave up in trying to catch him.  _ Need to call Bernie. Bernie will know what to do. Bernie will help me. _

He slammed his bedroom door shut and screamed.

  
  


****************

“Bernie, what’s happened?”

“Is Mr. Elton okay, Daddy?”

“Are you okay, Daddy?”

Bernie held his head in his hands, ignoring Ray, Samantha, and Sebastian equally, as he considered the news Elton just gave him. 

The phone call itself was unexpected. Elton usually called Monday mornings, a time in which Bernie knew he was at home alone every week. To receive a call from him on Wednesday evening took him by surprise in the first place. Then to hear after all the time and energy he, Ray, and Elton had spent finding a safe place for Elton to heal away from prying eyes was all for naught, since the devil himself found him anyway.

Bernie didn’t quite know how he felt.

“Sammy, Sebastian, please go play in your room for a bit please. You’re not in any trouble, loves. Daddy just needs to think with Uncle Ray and can’t be distracted. Thank you,” Bernie said quietly, without lifting his head. He didn’t want his children to see the flashes of anger that he knew would be in his eyes.

“They’re gone, mate. Now what’s happened?,” Ray asked again, leaning forward in his armchair.

“John fucking Reid found him, and paid him a visit Monday.”

“How’s that even possible?,” Ray asked aghast.

Bernie shrugged helplessly. “One of the volunteers is a ‘big fan’. Probably the same one that offered him drugs after he got out of the detox wing…” Bernie shook his head. 

"So that's why you didn't get your weekly phone call from him? Because of Reid's visit?"

"Sort of. Elton was apparently was deemed a danger to himself and put in isolation for a day. He has a minder back for now until they decide he can be alone again." Bernie took a deep breath. “But that’s not the worst part… He invited Reid _back_ tomorrow to _talk_ before calling me. Before I could tell him how stupid an idea it is, I suppose”

Ray snorted. “Of course he contacted John again… That means he’ll be leaving tomorrow and be dead next week at the latest.”

Bernie groaned, banging his head on the back of the sofa. “I need to get there before Reid does, I reckon,” Bernie muttered, taking his cane in his hand. “It’s what? A four hour flight to Chicago? I should leave tonight so I can be there for the start of visiting hours, right?” He stood up carefully, running a plan over in his mind. “Can you…”

Ray waved his hand. “I have everything under control here, mate. Elton needs you more than we do right now. Go save him from himself, because if you don’t, no one will.”

Bernie nodded. “Call me a cab, Ray? I’ll go explain to Sebastian and Sammy. I owe you.”

Ray got to his feet. “You don’t owe me anything, Bernie. You're my best friend and I’d do anything for you,” he said, a smile on his face. “Elton is the one who bloody owes me, though. Make sure you tell him I expect him to pay up when you see him.”

Bernie laughed all the way to his children’s bedroom.


	14. Chapter 14

“You know, just when I think I may finally have things under control in my life, Elton… When things can finally be considered brilliant and _normal_ , you never fail to throw a wrench in the mix,” Bernie said as he limped through the doorway to the visitor’s room at the rehabilitation center. He sat beside the gaping man at the round table, ignoring the strange looks he received from the other patients, a soft smile on his face. “And I can admit, now at least, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Bernie, what…? How did you get here?,” Elton asked in a hushed voice. He glared at the other patients long enough for most of them to drop their gazes from them. “And so quickly?”

“Plane, mate. They are known to be quite fast, you see, especially if you are considered disabled.”

Elton narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest with a huff. “I understand that much, you numpty.”

“I fail to understand the question then,” Bernie replied, raising a single eyebrow and folding his own arms across his chest.

“You have a life. An important life. How did you arrange… this?,” Elton asked, waving his hand impatiently.

Bernie shrugged. “I know how to ask for help when I know I really need it now, I suppose. Have to be able to as a single dad. I learned from my mistakes,” he said, taking Elton’s hand in his own. “The question is, have you?”

Bernie smiled at Elton’s affronted look.

“Have I what?”

“Learned from your mistakes,” Bernie replied, rolling his eyes, the smile never leaving his face. “Seems like that’s a no, really, if you invited _him_ to come see you today.”

Elton bit his lip and began to wring his hands in his lap. “It seemed like a good idea at the time…”

“And now?”

“I’m bloody terrified…,” Elton whispered, squirming slightly at Bernie’s penetrating look. He sighed in relief when Bernie turned his gaze to the wall.

“Do you trust me, Reg?,” Bernie asked simply. His smile widened at how quickly Elton nodded. “I can’t live alone anymore, not with the children, and Ray can’t spend the rest of his life at my house. His work is in London, whether he works for Dick James or not. I am leaving America, and going back home.”

“Back to Owmby by Spital? Really, Bernie?,” Elton asked with a chuckle.

Bernie shrugged. “My mum and dad offered me the small house in the back of the lot, and also offered to help me with Samantha and Sebastian. I really can’t refuse that, can I?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“I was thinking… What if you came with me? We could go back to the beginning… The basics... We could write like we did. Ray could take over the management part of it. We could just be two blokes, living the best life, and doing what we love.”

“Me? Live in Owmby by Spital? You cannot be serious right now.”

Bernie rolled his eyes. “Lincolnshire, Reg. Just call it Lincolnshire and you’ll be alright.”

“I… I suppose that does sound like a nice plan. A safe plan. It would be nice to work together again at the very least,” Elton said slowly, glaring at the patients who were caught staring at them once again after that exchange. He sighed. “We need to be quieter, I think… But, Bernie... What if I’m not as good, Bernie? Will you still want to work with me?”

“What do you mean ‘not as good’?,” Bernie asked, confused.

“You know… Without the drink or the drug to keep me going…”

Bernie snorted. “You can’t really believe that, can you?” Bernie cupped Elton’s cheek with his hand when he saw the man flush with shame. “Oh, Reg, you do, don't you? You are even better without the substances. I may not have been beside you every step, but I have watched you. It has hindered you more than aided. You’ll see, love, once you get in front of a piano again, I swear it.”

Elton nodded, even though Bernie knew he didn’t believe him fully. Not yet at least. Bernie hugged him close, promising himself that Elton would never doubt himself in their new partnership.

“What about John?,” Elton asked quietly, resting his head on Bernie’s shoulder. "He will find me."

Bernie kissed the top of Elton’s head. “Well, I’m almost certain you were going to check out today anyway, weren’t you? Why don’t we get that process started now? By the end of the week we will be in Lincolnshire and he will not be able to touch you… Not with how much my parents adore you for some strange reason...”

And when Elton’s reply to that jibe was, “Oh, darling, don’t be jealous. _Everyone_ adores me,” Bernie just knew that things would work out this time. _They just have to..._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all have enjoyed this journey! I know I have. Feel free to comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed it. There may be some one shots added later within this verse, I haven't decided. Thanks for reading!

And they did… After a time of great accommodation and love…

Bernie never expected to end up back here, in Owmby by Spital, Lincolnshire, after he packed up and almost  _ ran _ to civilization the moment he was able. The moment he saw that his dream could and  _ would _ become a reality, with the greatest friend a man could have made, all those years ago.

The silence was deafening at first after living so long in the city lights for both of them. They played their classic records as loud as they could for hours on end before Sebastian would feign a budding migraine or Samantha would come and ask every question she ever had thought of in her young life just to get the music to stop.

Elton was always a sucker for Samantha.

They worked together with a practiced ease that even all the years apart did nothing to change. Elton loved how much clearer everything was without the substances clouding his creative ear. Bernie just loved being  _ heard _ within their partnership once again. It took a few long years before they felt comfortable enough releasing something new, and just a short few weeks for it to top the charts once again.

It seemed everyone really  _ did  _ adore Elton John…

John Reid appeared one evening when Bernie and Elton had gone into town to see a show. Robert Taupin took his job as the head of the family seriously, and sent him away with a few well placed threats. John seemed to have faded into the night afterwards without truly realizing he had lost the most precious thing in the world. 

“I fought so hard for you,” Bernie murmured, running lazy circles with his fingertips across Elton’s bare back.

“What’re you banging on about now, love,” Elton asked sleepily without ever opening his eyes, cuddling deeper into Bernie’s chest.

“I was just thinking Reid lost the most fucking precious jewel in the world by not fighting for you. I am so glad I never gave up, love. I adore you more than anything.”

Elton looked up at him, a sleepy smile on his face, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “ _ Everyone _ adores me, Bernie. I thought we already established that…” Elton smile widened at Bernie’s snort of amusement. “But I love you too, you great duffer. Now go to bloody sleep, love. It’s three in the morning.”

“Never thought you’d be the one to lecture me about acceptable sleeping habits, love,” Bernie replied, capturing Elton’s lips in a deep kiss. “But yes, you are right. Six comes much too early on a good morning, doesn’t it? And today we get to give away our sunshine.”

Elton moaned. “Don’t remind me… We’re fucking old now, Bernie… Our little girl is getting married…”

“Well, at least we know her day won’t end up with you in the hospital, unlike both of mine, eh?”

Elton groaned, holding his head with his hands. “Don’t remind me of that, either, Bernie.”

Bernie chuckled. “I have to say my life has never been boring with you in it, Reg, but you know what? I don’t think we were ever meant for boring, were we?”

Elton put his head back on Bernie’s chest with a sigh. He closed his eyes. “No, I don’t think we were, love. And I thank the stars every day for that.”

“Me too, love. Me too,” Bernie murmured, closing his own eyes.

It took a bit of time. It took a lot of work. But they finally made it. 

Together.


End file.
